the first blog - a rant

So, here we are, my first blog and to be honest at this moment - I'm not too sure what to write.
I'm feeling in a mixed state of emotion:
( let’s call him Dave) has been texting me abuse, which seems to be his new form of communication - I don't see why he can't just f off and die but that's men I guess.
You see, what I never quite get about relationships is the aftermath. My ex-boyfriends from when I was a teenager and such - I'm still friends with but now we get older, it just goes from someone being your "best Friend" to being your arch enemy - it's just plain wired. I know it's hard for either both or one party when the other starts seeing someone new, but apart from that - you've shared so much of your time with that person... It just seems strange - and a tad scary that they know a lot of your secrets!!
Dave though (as we're calling him) wasn't your normal/average bloke - in many ways but mainly because, he was the woman in the relationship(by sterotype). Mardy, clingy, possessive and so so stroppy when he didn't get his own way. I mean, this coming weekend is his birthday. He invited me, wanted me to be there with the adding warning (and I quote) FYI I'm seeing someone new and she'll be there obv - will it be too awkward. Well, for a man of high intelligence, he's a tad thick! I mean, why would I want to be there? 2 months ago we were talking about getting married - so why would I want to see him with his new bit of stuff? Why does he want me to be there? Just to rub my face in it even more???? Anyway, I'm not going - I told him (obviously whilst keeping my dignity in tac!) But then he turns nasty - cruel...texting me calling me a slag for no reason! NICE! Well, I just want to move on...will he let me! stay tuned!!

On the otherside of things, I have this male friend...we've been speaking for years - never met the guy... shall we call it a modern day friendship? - well, fingers crossed, if all goes to plan, we're meeting up next week for the first time...heee!! I wonder if we'll be able to talk without the use of a computer! 9 years we’ve been talking, mental and if he’s reading this, he’ll probably be shaking his head but we’ve been through a lot together, or should I say he’s listen to me moan on over the years! I just can’t wait to finally me him, if not a tad fazed by it as well. If it comes off, I’ll probably be even more amazed.

What else can I rant about! Oh yeah! My single friend.com - a good musician friend of mine put me on the other week and it true style, I've just put my profile together and paid the 20quid to be a full member for 3 months! And I'm addicted already... seeing loads of pretty hot looking lads on the pages, you know they'll never get back to you but you live in the hope especially when you get the e-mail informing you that you've been added to someone's favourites. BIG HAPPY SMILES until the disappointment, they turn out to be some middle aged, thinning, conservative twit! Well, I can live in hope!

My friend's been raving about Guardian singles... she's had some cracking dates out of it... and now I want to play but with an addictive personality, I can see me getting even more attached to my laptop and blackberry -sod facebook! and there's the added factor you have to pay for these dating sites, my bank manager will love me – well, I’ll let you know how the addictions going and any advice and tips for trying/using and getting over these things will be passed on and greatly received!
Next week I think it's going to be speed dating! Wow, I sound like a girl on a mission but I think when one's been in a relationship, it's sometimes the best way to deal with not having someone around 24/7 - just get straight back out there too excess!
I'm sure all you "Londoners" will agree that dating in this massive city isn't as easy as it is/would be back in our birth towns/cities but that's why we all come to London, to make our lives more difficult? (Well, I guess most of us come down here for work or to stay like Peter Pan...25 in London is young...most other cities, you feel like a granny (well I do)) so dating sites and speed dating don’t sound so lame…I mean, how else do you meet guys in London? I go to a predominately gay gym, so that’s out of the question, I don’t have the money to join a “course” and to be honest, I’m a 20 something not a 30 something, so learning a second language isn’t quite that appealing yet – ask me at 28. Then there’s always the option of doing some extreme sport or joining a spiritual group to meet those guys that don’t live by the standards of a modern society (this is my type of guy) but I just feel like a hypocrite although I am a very spiritual person, going into this to find men, isn’t very ethical or right – a bit like that episode of SATC when Samantha tries to shag the monk! Classic! Anyway, I digress, for a change! So yes, I’m justifying my new single life and thinking of other reasons to buy a new outfit and a pair of killer heals!
So, Speed dating - yes! I'm very intrigued (obviously from an anthropological point of view) by this especially since finding out tonight that there's lock and key parties as well - huh!??? That sounds very scary!! I don't think I'll be off to that one but if anyone has any advice on speed dating - give me a shout!

Well, this has been my first post - quite a simple, not too deep, melodramatic or obsessive post, I have to admit - I surprise myself but you can guarantee it'll get worse as the time goes on (as will the spelling and grammar!)

My close friends always say my life's like a soap opera, well now it's a blog that I hope you all enjoy reading and contributing too. It would be great if we could turn this into a ranting site for everyone, not just me! Remember just because we're 20something doesn't mean we're really that much wise than when we went through all this in our teens- LOL! Just have jobs and are in debt!

Please pass this on to other people and join my facebook group!

Love and blessings

Rae x

NB: names have been changed no personal vendettas meant to anyone - it's just life as it is, according to Rae